“The Club” - Sunday, July 3, 2016, 1:52 AM (Age 26)

AN EXCERPT FROM THE CHAPTER ENTITLED “OBSERVATIONS”

If you were to ask me the number one place I take people on special occasions it would be a club. Why? Because it is an atmosphere that I personally enjoy, and it's also one of the easiest places to engage other people.

One of my favorite things about the club is that it brings to the forefront much of what people care about and who they are. There are three aspects of the club that particularly matter, and I believe they also translate to our lives.

In line

For starters, there are three types of people in the club (outside of staff working it): General Admission, VIP and VVIP, and rules are totally different depending on which category you fall into. In Dallas, I have made relationships with many party promoters, or people who are very close to party promoters, so that usually gives me VVIP access, meaning I don't have to call in advance or wait in line, or pay a cover charge. This is solely because of the relationships I have with them or a friend that I am coming with.

VVIP stands for very, very important people if you haven't guessed, and the treatment is just different. You get access to the VIPs, you're free to mingle with the general admission and you have someone you can contact if there are any problems. My friend Eric Collins is probably the most personable person I know, and there is almost no place DFW where he isn't recognized. If you're with him chances are you will get the VVIP treatment because he makes it a point to connect on a real level with as many people as he can. Maybe you're not trying to get into the club, but if you go to the same bank everyday year after year or if you have a favorite gas station in your neighborhood, it would behoove you to develop a rapport with the person at the other end of the counter.

Being a VVIP isn't always about having more money, but the value of the relationship may be more important than someone who has money. When people know that you are for them and are looking to be a customer for life, doors that money can't buy open for you.

Inside

That being said, money does talk, and VIP is for those individuals. It's an immediate differentiator in clubs and allows you to move a lot differently in a club. Sometimes the only way to get to be VVIP is to consistently pay for VIP at a particular establishment. Either way, this is the luxury experience. Some people view VIP as superficial, but it really is quite practical when you think about it. The goal of clubs is to get as many people inside as possible, and that translates to standing room only. If you want to sit down, it not only takes up space, but it makes the already packed club scene hard to navigate. This translates to lost money. It's up to the owner to decide how much sitting down will cost, but limiting the amount of people who do is also the best way of ensuring that things stay lively. How does that translate to our lives? What is a house, but a glorified VIP section? There are plenty of places in the world that give you access, but comfort is another story.

Awhile back my brother and I received free tickets to a Cowboys game, and since the Cowboys are the world's greatest football team we jumped at the chance to go. Upon closer inspection, they were tickets to get in the stadium, but not for actual seats. This became particularly evident after about twenty to thirty minutes. We wanted to sit down. We were tired of standing in odd places to see the action, we were tired of being told to move by security, and we were tired of not having options.

VIP gives you the option to hit the dance floor or relax. It gives you the option to see the action from a great vantage point, or to join it at your leisure. VIP is especially crucial for groups. Friends can get separated in the crowd. People want to sit down and talk. All this is remedied with a secured space. That's why one's ability to secure a secured space is an automatic difference maker.

Although VIP and VVIP are fine and dandy, they are better for business statements and keeping order. Make no mistake there would be no party without general admission. In my heart of hearts, I'm a general admissions guy through and through. I'm not going out to sit down and people watch, I want to meet people and dance. For those like myself there is one and only one place that matters; and that is the middle of the dance floor. Too often we get caught in the luxury and high-society trappings of life. Why not enjoy the best parts of it... the fun, the music, the people who are grooving to the same beat and singing along. I can't tell you how many times I've brought guests to the heart of electric club atmosphere and showed them the best time they've ever had... just by interacting with the general populace.

Sometimes being VIP or VVIP determine if you gain access at all, and those are times where it really matters. When I lived in Atlanta, promoters were notorious for having two lines, the skip line and the general admission line. Sometimes they would hold the general admission line so long that many of them didn't enter until the very end or not at all. With VIP you could walk straight in (for a nominal fee of course).

Beyond the Ropes

If we look at this from a higher note, there are some doors that only a spiritual connection with our creator will open, but the best thing about it is that Jesus already paid the cover charge. Death is a reality that makes itself known to us in one way or another, and when someone dies what do people say?

"They're in a better place"

But the real question is are they? I remember the one of the most heated conversations I ever had with one of my friends. He was letting me know that he didn't and refused to believe in a God that would send people to hell. I had tried every way possible to sugar coat it, by saying"Hell wasn't meant for us though.""He doesn't send people to hell, we choose it by not choosing him."No matter what I said, it was met with intense opposition. It came to a point where he finally asked me the question everyone in the room already knew."Do you think I am going to hell?

"I had no choice but to say "yes.”

My brain dropped to my stomach and I could barely hold back tears, because it was the second saddest moment of my life. The whole argument was me basically pleading and saying that he didn't have to, but the whole time he was digging his heels even further. Even though he knew my answer, I think the fact of what I actually said shocked both of us, and even hurt him. I think this was evidenced by what he said next."I don't think I can be friends with someone who thinks I'm going to burn in unquenchable flames for eternity."That was the saddest moment of my life. In my mind, I had said he's not going to hell not as long as I'm living and can help it, but he had just hit me with the haymaker that would impact our friendship from that point on. I was the guy that was arguing with the bouncer to let my friend in the club, only to find out that my friend no longer wanted to be there.I've had family members and even one of my best friends pass away, but no moment in my life did I feel such despair and profound sadness then that moment.

For the first time ever, I had to face the possibility that this life would be the only one I would share with a person I really cared for. I felt like I had failed as a Christian, and it didn't help that I was in a lot of ways living in sin during that time. This only made the feelings of guilt worse, like I had contributed to getting my friend banished from the club, and in some ways I did. 

I know how this sounds, and how narrow minded it must look for those who don't share my beliefs, but I can not bear for anyone who knows me or even reads this book not to think long and hard about where their soul will go after their body ceases to function. 

I had a conversation with another gentleman much later who was incredibly smart, and often spent his time arguing with Christians on Biblical topics. I could tell from the conversation that he was used to easily winning them, due to him knowing more of the Bible than the Christian he usually argued with. We arrived at several impasses in the conversation, and I saw that it was increasingly focused on attacking the validity and credibility of what I believed, yet he was using, actually citing the Bible as a resource to backup other philosophical arguments I was bringing up. Finally, I just asked him what he believed. His response shocked me.

He told me that he believed that aliens created the Earth and human beings. He went on to tell me that when we die we go to the origin of what is in our souls. For instance, If we hate people, we go to the place where hate dwells. If we love, we go to a place  where love dwells. He went on to say; if we have negativity in our hearts we will reincarnate as a lessor creature in life so that we can go through the Earthly process correctly and even do it repeatedly if necessary until we go to the place of love. 

I told him that's a beautiful thought, and as I had never heard anything like that before. Parts of it I could identify with, namely our souls going to areas where what's inside them determines the destination. However, I did ask him two more questions. The first was where did he get this perspective on the afterlife from, and when did he start believing it. 

Those are the two questions I ask anyone who I can tell are gifted intellectually and seek truth. I ask because so much effort and intensity is put into cracking, disavowing, and proving the Bible to be false but I also invite them to use that same analytical ability on any other belief system including atheism and simply compare. Compare the historical credibility, compare the credibility and bias of the writers, compare if these deep philosophical epiphanies only were revealed to one person with no one else around or by many with countless people to verify and tell the story. Compare the works of the belief system and how the world has benefited or hurt from the most prominent followers of that system. Often times it comes down to an experience, not a disbelief in Noah's ark or Jonah being swallowed by a fish, and it was the same for that young man.

This stranger that I had never met before, decided to reveal that his deeply religious father turned his back on God and his family, shortly after getting a divorce from his mother. Shortly after that he did the same, having a lot of unanswered questions from his church congregation. He went on to say that his dad eventually found his way back to Jesus, but felt guilty for influencing him to leave the faith. It was a sad story of family dysfunction and church incompetence, but was it the belief system that was flawed or the people operating within it? The reason why I love Christianity so much is because, I know very well that I don't have enough money, enough good deeds, or enough intellect to get in to that club.  The only reason why I can get in is because I know the owner. That's it.

I’ve felt what it feels like to show up somewhere dressed and ready to get in, and not be allowed in because I don't know anyone. That feeling when the bouncer opens the door for people who don't look any different than me, but a smile comes across his face when he sees them and opens the door after hugging them. That feeling when the door opens and someone important motions for a group of other people waiting in line with me, and they step out and walk all the way to the front and go inside. It sucks... especially if it's just you. I've had a lot of those heaven and hell debates over the years, and I've learned that I can't talk anyone in or out of either. All I can do is ask the question and pray that they compare as honestly as they can. I did and still continue to do so. I honestly haven't found anything better yet.